Aging - Not So Gracefully!

After I die I am going to sit down and have a long talk with God if, of course, we’re on friendly terms. Hard to have a discussion with someone who is saying, “YOU’RE SO BUSTED”. So if it’s all good I will ask Him just what’s up with the whole woman thing. I mean, is 40 years of being in the childbearing mode really necessary?

These are the categories which I think should exempt one from having womb in the inn on a monthly basis, if you get my drift.

1. Being 9. Seriously, one of my girls was 9. Excuse me!!!
2. For that matter, being 10, or 11, or even 15 or 16. When a girl is 17 it might be OK, just to get the ol’ motor running. But the motor shouldn’t be fully functional until at least 18.
3. For the first year after you have had a baby. And that should include the mothers who do not nurse. Or maybe two years...
4. Any time you are single. And no, this isn’t religiously based, just plain old common sense that says that it is waaaay easier to tag team when you have small people of very little brain running or crawling around.
5. As far as that goes, how about turning it off anytime you don’t want to get prego? Yeah, I like that. Although about 2/3’s of us and our offspring wouldn’t be here.
6. After age 40.
7. And after 50 --- good grief --- enough already!

What is up with 60 year old ladies turning it back on to get pregnant – on purpose? What are they thinking?

I have a good rule of thumb for when you should not longer be a procreator.

If you try to nurse and can’t focus on your babies face because your eyes are gone, you’re too old.

I truly had to have someone hold my poor Mr. T a few feet away so I could see what he looked like. “Back up there, more…more, ah, look at that. He is cute! OK, we’ll keep him.” Poor baby. He grew up at arms length just so I could make sure his nose was not boogery. Any closer and he looked like the blob and I could have just as easily wiped his ear as his nose. (OK, that was an exaggeration because I could tell where his face was located, just not what was on the face that wasn’t supposed to be.)

So I have issues (no pun intended, I’m sure) with the whole M thing and I am looking forward, not in the immediate future, to a nice little chat with the man in charge – period!